I Found A Knife

Willie & Frank--
Shakespeare?
In Nano-Time

Noodles and Pin ups
(Chapter 5)

Wash U is actually in University City, a suburb of St. Louis. But Wash U, and U-City are a part of St. Louis in pretty much the same way that Disney World is in Florida. I mean, it may be located in the same general area, but it's not even in the same neighborhood. Within the boundaries of the park, or the city limits in this case, it's just barely on the same planet.

Food is a great example. You can take a short walk, just a couple of blocks down Delmar, and visit the world, one eatery at a time. For those who don't want to go that far, you can just drop into Johnny C's. Johnny Cool's Noodle Emporium. Noodles and rice -- Thai, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... Whatever. You can cruise the Pacific Rim without ever leaving the menu. They even have a Styrofoam cup of that cheap microwave Ramen stuff on the menu. Hey, at four in the morning, on the downhill slide from a good night, nothing else seems right somehow.

We got there about nine. The usual dinner rush was over, and it was way too early for the nightlife crowd. So it was just me and Shaun in the place. We grabbed our food and slid happily into the best seats in the house. Johnny's has a raised area just inside the front glass, with bar stools and high tables to put you just the right height to look out into the night time, gazing over the pedestrians and window shoppers. It feels very big city, and yet, just like home. Well, if your home smelled like a thirty year old noodle deli.

We forked in noodles and watched the world walk by. As we ate, I waited. I was surprised. Shaun held up until the food was gone, and he'd come back with another couple beers. Heck, I was surprised he didn't bring it up before we left the school.

“OK, Jakey, what's the deal with the rats?”

I tried to look offended. “They're mice, Shaun. Much cooler than some mangy street rat. Smarter, too.”

“Yeah? Doesn't seem to be working out so good for them, so far. And why aren't you in your apartment? I had to find out from old lady Preiss where you were. Speaking of which, she says to tell you that, just 'cuz you aren't sleeping there doesn't mean you can be late on the rent again. Oh, and she's feeding your cat.”

“She's not my cat.” A D (Another Damn) was a stray that had decided to hang out at my place for the last year or so. Might have been because of the food bowls, or the cat flap on the back door. Hey, it was there when I moved in.

“Sure she's not,” Shaun nodded. “For sure she won't be after the first time you come home with rat stink on you.”

“I'm not going to get rat stink on me... um, that is, the mice don't stink. They don't smell like anything, not even like mice. Besides, they stay in their cage.”

“Yeah,” Shaun nodded again. “They stay in theirs, you stay in yours. What's that about?”

I told him about the experiment, and how my big mouth got me volunteered as a mouse sitter. We talked about how the touch pad on the floor of the cage worked and how much it was going to suck being stuck in that small store room slash dorm room for the rest of the semester.

“Well then, why are you doing it?” he asked.

“I don't really know,” I said. “I was just working on a computer in the lab while they were talking and had this idea that I thought would help. Next thing you know I'm on the team.”

“The team?” Shaun gave me this direct look that he learned from our mother.

“Ok, so maybe it's the support team.... or the support team's support team. I don't know.”

“Ok, so let me sum up,” he leaned in with his elbows on the table, his chin in one hand, the other hand making little invisible check marks on the table top in front of him. “This doesn't pay any more. It doesn't count toward your grades or your degree. If they do discover anything worth anything, you aren't even going to be mentioned in the acknowledgments. It doesn't get you out of your other job, or your classes. But you do get to live in a dungeon, all while you keep paying rent on an apartment that only your stuff and your cat are living in. That about cover it?”

I shrugged and finished my beer.

“OK,” he said. 'I just have one question. Can I stay at your place?”

“Your roommates kicked you out again, didn't they?”

He smiled. “We're having a momentary misunderstanding. They said they said no wild parties. I thought they said no loud parties.”

“The party wasn't loud?”

“No, but it was wild,” he grinned. “Carpe Obscurum.”

I nodded. “Seize the night.”

“There you go,” he nodded and finished his beer.

“You know that's not what that means, don't you?”

“Night, darkness, whatever.”

“And you didn't invite me?”

“Not your kind of crowd,” he said. “Girls on one side, boys on the other. I think you understand. Then again, maybe I should have. You wouldn't have had to worry about meeting anyone.”

“That's not fair.” I said.

“Maybe not, but it's true. When's the last time you met a girl?”

And, I couldn't help myself. I told him about Jenny.

I thought I had been successful in making it sound casual, but he wasn't buying.

“So, she's cute?” I just nodded.

“And you like her?” he pushed.

“I don't even know her, really. She's just one of the research assistants.”

“One of the research assistants,” he said. “I notice you didn't mention any other research assistants....”

“Hey, I didn't run over the other guy. I ran over Jenny.”

'But not so fast that you didn't notice that she was cute.”

“With really soft hair, too,” I added. “A lot of it.”

“Sounds like it's a good thing, too,” he said. “You know what Mother Poe would say.” Mother Poe was our grandmother, on our mother's side. She was first generation from Wales.

Shaun slapped his open palms to his cheeks and put on this awful Welsh accent. “It's fate, boyo. Pay attention. You were meant to be together! It is written in the stars.”

“You know you sound like Sean Connery with a lisp when you do that, don't you? Keep it up when we go back on the street and I could probably get you laid tonight.” I pointed at a tall guy coming toward the door. He was waving at us through the window. “Here comes a likely sailor now.”

Before Shaun could answer the door burst open.

“Hey guys! What do you think of my new shoes. I found them at Goodwill today. They're knock off Prada. Can you believe it? Hey, what are you doing tonight? Pete rented a couple lanes at the Pin Up Bowl for the next couple hours. We've got room for two more. You wanna come bowl? It's chocolate martini night!”

All that and he hadn't taken a breath yet. That's Jamie. He only has two speeds, full on, and full off. And he's always ready to talk you into doing something.

“Hi, Jamie,” I said. “Nice shoes. I didn't know they made high heels that size.”

“I didn't know they made snow shoes that size,” Shaun said.

“Watch it buster,” Jamie said, sliding on to the stool next to him. “So, you guys wanna come bowling? It'll just be for a couple hours. I gotta get home and study for an exam tomorrow.”

I shook my head. “Not me, thanks. I should make it an early night.”

“Yeah, he has to go put the mice to bed,” Shaun smirked.

“Hey, I heard about that,” Jamie said. “Weird stuff.”

“How'd you hear about it?” I asked.

“Jennifer told me about it. She said you got stuck with some kind of subject coordinator thingy.”

I leaned against the back of my seat. “Why am I not surprised that you know Jenny?” If somebody has a Wash U. ID, even if it's a fake one, Jamie knows them.

“Where'd you see her?”

“She prefers Jennifer, not Jenny,” he answered. “She's at the bowling alley. She's waiting for me.”

“Waiting for us, you mean,” Shaun said, jumping up off his stool. “By all means, let us go.”

“Shaun....” I said, weakly.

“Tut, tut, Jakey. Mind Mother Poe. Let's not keep the young lady waiting.” With that he was out the door, Jamie dragging me along behind him.

~~~~~~~

The Pin up Bowl is, well.... It's the Pin up Bowl. Descriptions fail.

Tell you what, you've seen and heard all the cliches of the funky dive bowling alley and airport bars where the lounge lizards thrive? Put the lounge in the bowling alley, then put the lizards on a bus out of town. You're getting close.

Eight bowling lanes that have to be rented days and weeks in advance. Above the lanes, where the pin lights would be, are projected wide screens showing the greatest and latest in whatever style of music videos or art shorts that the house feels like rocking to that night. Lots of overstuffed chairs and booths, complete with funky, art deco lighting and weird, artsy prints on the wall. The bar will serve you a wide variety of martinis and a collection of odd house concoctions. The kitchen fare includes thick creamy tomato or chicken noodle soup just like the stuff your mom used to serve you, from Campbell's... because that's exactly what it is. Hey, for dessert there's pop-tarts!

But the real show is the crowd that hangs out there. On any given night you are as likely to find yourself sharing a ball return with a group of drag queens as a couple of elderly Docents from the art museum, or both. But watch out, some of those old folks are bowling sharks.

There's this one sweet old granny who's been bowling there since before the bar went in. She makes cab fare betting unsuspecting newcomers that she can't pick up that nasty looking 4-10 split. Where she makes her utilities money though, is when they bet her that she can't do it again.

And tonight I was going to be sharing the ball return with Jennifer. No, that didn't put anything at all sexual in my head.

~~~~~~~

I didn't see it until I looked at the print outs later, but back at the mouse cage Willie and Frank were watching College Football. In amongst the gibberish were these two items.

ISLAND PROBLEM FOOT YET PIECE TOLD BUSY KNEW TEST PASS RECORD FARM BOAT TOP COMMON WHOLE

THEY SHOULD HAVE RUN THE OPTION.

POSSIBLE SIZE PLAN HEARD AGE DRY BEST HOUR WONDER BETTER LAUGH TRUE THOUSAND DURING AGO TOWARD

HEY I DO NOT KNOW WHAT DEEP DISH CHEESE PIZZA IS, BUT WE GOT TO TRY IT.

CHILDREN WAR TRAVEL WEIGHT BEGIN LAY LESS LANGUAGE GOT AGAIN MORN

YEAH, IT LOOKS GOOD EVEN IN BLACK AND WHITE.

Up Next: The Ball Returns